Wednesday 31 July 2013

I shaved my hair - 6 steps of reclaiming power

I got called a ‘fucking dyke’ the other day, it was one of those situations where I’d usually get whistled at or cat-called by a group of random guys.. But this time I was a ‘fucking dyke’!
Well. I fucking love it. 

Let me add context here - I shaved my hair because I truly wanted to go 'against the grain'. Everywhere I look all I see is 'Victoria's Secret' hair styles, and I'm starting to think young women are becoming more and more uniform and conforming in their identities. I wanted to go against this trend, and without knowledge or care of what is fashionable - I took to hacking my hair off.

And really what the fuck was I thinking by not wanting to look like every other woman on the face of the earth!? I guess if I don’t resemble a Playboy-esque sperm receptacle then I MUST BE A FUCKING DYKE!! HELLO!
Let me break down the analysis of how I went from being a girl who is often whistled at, to a girl who is a fucking dyke. And let me explain why 1. I'd prefer to be called a dyke than whistled at, and 2. why all of this comes down to male power over women.

Not long ago my hair was longer, etc, and I often received random flattering remarks. But those compliments always left me feeling weird, clearly I was a ‘thing’ they’d like to fuck, not an actual human being of true value. I can't count the amount of times a random guy has taken it upon himself to come and speak to me and make remarks about my appearance.. 

WHY do guys feel they have the adjudication over female appearances? WHY do guys feel that I care what their opinion is? WHY do guys think they have the agency to share their opinions on my looks with me? WHY do I not have the agency to tell them to fuck off??? Every remark about my appearance only ever made me feel like a 'thing', and undermined my intelligence and nature. BUT rest assured, if I did not respond politely to a male posturing his power over my appearance, I would swiftly be called a bitch - as has often been the case. GREAT STUFF!

Usually after a guy complimenting my looks they would go on to offer further compliments over their shock that I was articulate, that I was polite, or that I was well-educated... Obviously in each of these circumstances it was heartening to know that a guy had approached me with the assumptions that I was: 1. Hoping to sexually appeal him 2. Wanting his opinion on my sexual appeal, 3. Dumb, 4. Inarticulate, 5. Rude.

With all those assumptions covered I think its safe to say that every guy who approached me was doing so with the notion that I was merely a dumb, voiceless, piece of ass, and not a worthwhile human being except possibly for sex.

Well I didn’t want to be a ‘thing’ so I guess shaving my hair did the trick. 
I realise many people expect women to conform- to be sexually provocative 'glamour', and not have power to define their own body any other way. This guy was SO threatened that he had to try attack my sexuality (!?)

Let me break down the process of reclaiming my power: 
1. Guy expects women to be sexually appealing to him 
2. Guy expects women to value his opinion on sexual appeal 
3. Guy expects he has the power to adjudicate over defining woman's sexual appeal 
4. Gal (me) decided to undermine that power - going against normative 'sexual appeal' of 'sexy hair'
5. Guy is threatened that a woman would dare undermine his power to see women as sexual objects
6. Guy needs to attack the gal as homosexual, as the only way to explain why she dare not sexually appeal to him.

 Fail. Not insulted. Flattered. Thank you ‘fucking dyke’ guy, I’m so glad my body does not resemble a soulless hetero fuck toy. For the first time a random comment has left me feeling empowered about choosing the way I look for myself and not for others. Winninnngggg!

I'm interested to hear other peoples experiences with changing their appearance for their own purposes and against the 'norm'... Did it suddenly become apparent to you just how much focus is on a woman conforming to 'sex appeal'?? Do you see guys ever getting the same pressure?
Let me know on twitter @lauragene01 or in the comments below!! :)
May I take this opportunity to mention Margaret Cho -








Thursday 25 July 2013

What's the harm in a selfie?



What’s the harm in a #selfie?


Australia’s Next Top Model on Fox8TV recently launched a competition for girls (and guys) to take photos of themselves (selfies) and post them online, in order for judges to select the ‘best selfie’ – how this is judged I do not know.


Sounds fine, right? Except if you consider that participants only need be 13 years old to enter in this kind of modelling competition. And especially if you consider that ‘selfies’ are renowned for being sexually provocative, usually showing lips pursed ready to kiss, or cleavage exposed in a sexually styled pose.  Girls as young as 8 and 9 have been taking part in this online ‘selfies’ competition. This means girls as young as 8 and 9 are fully aware of being ‘sexy’ and are encouraged to take photos of themselves to share online with millions of internet users - and no security precautions.


If that doesn’t seem problematic enough, then take a moment to consider websites that host ‘sexy selfies’ or ‘naked selfies’. These websites assumedly pull 'selfies' from instagram and other social media these kind of websites give shocking insights as to the kind of images young girls are sharing, these pictures very quickly turn from sexy into outright underage child pornography.

So how does taking sexualised self-images have a place in a 13 years old life?

When I was 13 I knew nothing about being pretty, nor did I understand the idea of sexy. When I was 13 I wouldn’t have had a clue on how to take a photo of myself, nor would I have ever cared to do so. I remember being one of the first young people to get the mobile phone with a camera, but certainly I’d never considered taking ‘sexy’ photos. It simply was never a pressure that I experienced.

Its 13 years since I was 13, and now 13 year old girls are openly encouraged to model and self photograph by TV shows, celebrities and peers alike, this means that 13 year olds are going to have to be fully aware of their image, they are going to learn to be self-conscious, they are going to learn what constitutes pretty, beautiful and sexy, they are going to learn to judge themselves and others on their ‘sexiness’, and for this ‘sexy’ learning curve what are the likely outcomes? What will this mean for their relationships with themselves, with girls, boys and their health?

A quick look at some recent statistics of girls under 16 will give some hard-hitting insights as to the effects of this growing trend. 70% of girls report being unhappy with their body image. While only a small percentage of children are obese, around 25% of young girls cite wanting to diet, lose weight and have plastic surgery (NEDC 2013). We are talking about young girls – unhappy in life, dieting and wanting to surgically mutilate their healthy bodies! This is not to mention the pervasive effects of eating disorders on life expectancy and mental health outcomes. Studies have CLEARLY shown that exposure to TV left girls feeling dissatisfied with their bodies and lead to disordered eating habits. We are literally KILLING our children with this media.

We can also take a look at the research surrounding sexual experiences of young girls, growing trends toward earlier sexual encounters, growing rates of forced sexual encounters and sexual violence. And in particular relevance, the growing trend for young girls to share their own pornographic images.

Is it then fair for Fox8TV to dismiss taking ‘selfies’ as a fun, light-hearted activity for young people? Does that response do justice to the millions of suffering girls and boys who feel unhappy in their own skin, who are going to struggle with happiness and confidence because of this pressure? Does Fox8’s response do justice to the young people literally starving themselves to death? Does Fox8’s response do justice to the young people whose lives are cut short at the hands of an eating disorder? What responsibility does Fox8 take for the pressure their ‘beauty competitions’ place on young and vulnerable people?

None.

It infuriates me further to see that these problems are lumped onto the young girls. Girls are given instruction that they must ‘increase their confidence’ they must ‘learn resilience’ or ‘dress more modestly’. If we look at the pressure on young girls in today’s world, the likelihood of being psychologically resilient is basically null and void. Today’s media forces low self-esteem on girls, particularly by these invasive modelling competitions, pitting girls against one another, enforcing the idea loud and clear to all little girls ‘YOUR VALUE IS DEFINED BY YOUR LOOKS’.

Thank you Fox8 producers; I wonder how you sleep at night.


Anyone needing support to cope with pressure, self-esteem or eating concerns should see their GP immediately. Resources are also available on

Tuesday 23 July 2013

I'm thin and fit, and I'm tired of 'fitspiration'




So in a culture obsessed with image/youth/thinness I should probably be happy, I mean I AM thin, so ‘winning’!! I could probably go ahead and post photos of myself like YAY ME! But really, that would make me feel like a narcissistic dick.

A lot of women do speak up against these ‘fitness’ images and people will often say “your just jealous coz your fat etc”…  It seems that big people’s opinions are invalid.. So as a 'validly' opinionated thin person I can say that thin exhibitionism isn’t healthy or helpful.

I will list rather than blab about why:

- Fitness/health has nothing to do with appearance, so why do these women have more makeup, hair and tits than anything else? They are actually promoting cosmetic surgery and dieting, not health, this is my main gripe.

- If these images are inspiring hardcore workouts then they should show all types of people running/lifting/boxing, sweating, no makeup, etc.

- Where are images of healthy people who are bigger/older/disabled/etc? These people are fit and healthy too.. These 'thinspo' pages show such a narrow ideal of ‘health’ that is all about young women/men, I can’t even imagine how older/minority groups feel when they see it.


- I don’t know how body insecurity feels.. But I see women in my own family (bless) and I feel their shame, guilt, pain, they hate their body, they think they aren’t worthy of love, they think they aren’t worthy of food!!! I just want to shake them like “LOVE YOURSELF YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, JUST EAT THE DAMN CAKE!!” Hopefully empathy helps me understand.

- I think a lot of people are shamed into exercise and diet by these pages, rather than loving themselves first and foremost.

- Personally, I know that thin doesn’t equate with health. I’ve had so many back and joint problems in the past, because I was lacking nutrition and strength! Even my doctors always insisted that I was fit and healthy- wrong!!

- Lastly, if people were encouraged to just love themselves and disregard image, I wonder how much more time people could put into perusing other goals, doing what they love, making progress, feeling good etc… Evidence tells us that we cannot perform cognitively if we are self-conscious.
I know ‘fitness images’ might inspire workouts, but what about inspiring women and men to be more than an image?

And of course what about the effect on young peoples self-esteem, relationships, we know all kinds of body image disorders are on the rise- are these people really helping with that?

Maybe the fact that my body shape has fitted in this ‘ideal’ means that I see these photos and I don’t find them attractive, I just think – ‘what the actual fuck are you doing’…

I’m all for people building health, but I think it starts with relaxation, self-acceptance and blocking out bullshit media. Whether the label is ‘skinny’ or ‘healthy’ - the overall goal is still about being unrealistically thin and fitting a very narrow idea of 'attractive'.

Friday 19 July 2013

Starting musings on morethanimage

I have a lot of thoughts and discussions on the imagery in the media, the sexualised version of women in particular and the impact this has on individuals, relationships, families and particularly children.
For myself I am still exploring what that impact is, though despite my confidence and happiness with myself I am realising this impact could be more pervasive and difficult to define than I realised.
This is a home to collect these thoughts, images and ideas and hopefully to get thoughts from other people. My aim is that this will culminate in more critique, more in-depth thinking and hopefully people having the confidence to say and share more.